I’m only doing this so in a few years, I can look back and say wow. Was that really my head space.
Today, the topic is titled: ‘There is always one.’
I have entitled this post that way because naturally it aligns with my daily thinking. To be honest, I am still in break up mode. Like recovery position, after you’ve puked up all the bad stuff. But now today, I am in regretful for consuming all that bad stuff mode.
There is a man here (God bless him) who is teaching me the ins and outs of the bible, it’s wisdom no doubt. I’m just upset by everything he has taught me so far. It seems like everything he’s teaching me, is almost in direct opposition to everything i have learned before. I don’t think this is the case however, I think it’s just that sometimes you’re in a place where your own eyes are not open. Then you meet someone who puts you in a position to have them opened and then you meet someone else who actually opens them. But you need the reason too. The problem with Jesus is, he asks you to give up the reason and just open your eyes. It’s difficult…
Beyond all of that. I am realising that had I have known all that i know now, I probably would not have been in this position. I probably would have not been in a head space where i felt guilty, but I do. I feel very bad for not knowing what I know now, for having a great lack of understanding of the bible and what Jesus really asks of us. I believe it’s everything to do with sacrificing all for him but i was thinking more like managing it all with and for him. It doesn’t work like that. But if i knew i would have never let myself be such a bad example of a Christian. So hypocritical. Albeit I’ll give myself credit, i was trying based off of what i knew. But the saying is true:
“You just don’t know, what you don’t know”
There always ends up being that one thing. There is always one thing that you regret. Not knowing was one of them. I wonder will i ever get the chance to correct the wrong I made again?
God is love, Kwesi D
If you feel somewhat low or down and out. Fear not, i have suffered the same. Though none of our pains can be compared, I can empathise and sympathise with you. If you feel needing of something else, please do not hesitate to call on our maker, the Lord above. Since my birth (Sounds Victorian poetry like but it’s true.) I have felt betrayed and abandoned by everyone i have ever loved or cared about. I know only one man who never me, that is Jesus Christ, my Lord and saviour. You can receive that same power today but uttering this short prayer:
“The Sinner’s Prayer is an evangelical term referring to any prayer of repentance, prayed by individuals who feel convicted of the presence of sin in their lives and desire to form or renew a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.”
Peace be with you.