It’s early morning; early April, the middle of spring – a third of the year is almost gone and a reoccurring theme continues to plague my mind. I have no doubt i am not alone, but it’s harder to feel connected to other people, who, supposedly share a similar problem -kept secret. For almost all of my life i have battled one problem. One incredibly intense problem that has mentally and even physically!, crippled me on many previous occasions.
Anxiety is not a joke kids, this mental and emotional condition can be the bane of your life. I do NOT suffer from anxiety attacks, nor do i suffer from confidence issues, but like every other normal human being, i suffer from anxiety. Anxiety is the worry you have that can is amplified and becomes overwhelming and crippling, in some cases it really can be physical. On more than one occasion i have lost the ability of speech through anxiety. Anybody who knows me, or reads these blog posts knows, free speech isn’t a problem for me. For me one of my most prominent features was stripped from me in a moment of madness, of which i had allowed for anxiety to overcome my own self confidence.
Contrary to what your beliefs are, the bible says “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ”
This rings true in every aspect of our lives. Rarely are we fighting others physically, yet we are constantly at war with ourselves. We seek to impress, to empower ourselves through the eyes of others. What we don’t realise is that we are fighting a loosing battle. Despite our best efforts, we have no control over what we want people to believe about us, nor do we control how they feel towards us. We try to govern these things for ourselves because we are all looking for one thing. This nicely brings me back around to where i began.
I, along with many others, have a very acute problem, I cannot operate without love. I cannot be moved without a notion prompted by the love of something, or the love i have for someone. I love uncontrollably, I, in fact find it hard to control the strongest human emotion, so much so i am guilty of forcing it. In the past i have struggled to understand how to love efficiently and with moderation, it’s hard but it is a work in progress.
To you, compassionate being, lover of all people it is impossible to love everyone all at once, often you may feel nobody can love you the way you love them. It is not worth crying over. You have to understand one thing…
If indeed you feel nobody can love you, then let it be you. If you have a hard time understanding why the person you are so interested in, is not interested in you, let it go. There will be many others! If you feel that you are incapable of being loved because of your imperfections you are insulting yourself, to not understand that your imperfections make you perfect is INSANE.
If you cannot find love, or find someone to love you. LOVE YOURSELF. This is the ultimate goal to finding self empowerment, self worth and self respect. Once you learn to love everything that makes you weird and wonderful you can never be told by anyone you are ugly or worthless again. You are made in a Godly image with mortal features.
All humans are made in God’s image, if you accept yourself as beautifully and wonderfully made, you can thank the creator for his work.
With all things if nobody will, then let it be you. How can you count everyone, without first counting yourself.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. So do yourself a favour and love YOU.
God heals all, loves all and just wants you to accept him. He is LOVE, Kwesi D